Oh Shit!

 I read an article today on loudly pooing women and men agitated by it. 

'Why do loud “voices of nature” mess up men so badly?

Randomly googled image

This one guy explained it to me: “You know first she goes to the bathroom – she looks so innocent and fragile. They close the door and apparently change! They don’t put music on or even try to hide it. They make considerable effort to push out hard whatever they were previously holding onto what is then followed by enormous splashes. It’s like they turn momentarily wild. Then they come out and want me to fuck them on the number 2 – I am horrified.”

Randomly googled image

I didn’t want to answer to his line of thought. I knew too well what he meant.

I once met this “so-called-straight-guy” who told me he had had some experience in gay-sex but that he didn’t like it. I asked why. He explained to me that it didn’t feel good at all. "Oh!" I said and asked if he had taken some dick up his ass to which he responded simply by saying yes. “Well what was so awful about it?” I asked him. He explained that it didn’t feel so good.

I had an image of a TVG train running 300mph entering into a tunnel passage - and just finding out there and then that there already was a train in the tunnel, stopped in front of it.  I imagined what happened next...

Randomly googled image

“Oh, so did you clean yourself up before this treat? I mean did you clean up your ass?” I asked, knowing the answer would most probably be no. “No,” he replied as expected “…why?”

There! If you’d buy a vibrating dildo wouldn’t you read the instructions first? Well, most people do. Men normally do not. They are just too quick on the trigger. Me, now, fast, and then for a beer!

You cannot feel pleasure in anal sex if you haven’t cleaned up your ass beforehand - precautionary measures against sudden attacks of nice guys in lay-man's terms. Just as that TVG train will never get to the other side of the tunnel were there another train on the same tracks ahead stopped in front of it, a guys dick  in your cute little butt won't feel that great either.” Once you’ve done your necessary errands with your rear end it all feels so much better. It can actually feel quite magnificent! 

At the same time men are complaining their women going to toilet they glory themselves with their pal's in how big poo they’ve got pushed out – and how good shitting sometimes feels. Now, isn’t that queer! No, as it happens, it is very straight thing to talk about shitting.

A tip for Straight men in their awful predicament: When your girlfriend next goes to a loo for a poo – press “play” on your über cool sound system and start to play “Ella Fitzgerald’s and Frank Sinatra’s “Dancing Cheek to Cheek"

Randomly googled image

A tip for Gay men: When your boyfriend begs for a fuck next time lure him to bend over and shoehorn a hose into his anus. Press gently at the tap and shove it in. Open the tap and ask him to push afterwards. After few rounds your boyfriend is clean to be fucked up in the ass by his gentle and masculine boyfriend. And yes, please do not forget to press “play” on your cute little Gay-I-Phone for the evergreen tune of Village People’s "YMCA".

Yes, oh shit! And this line of thought must be at the end of its course. It is time for a swim, gym and sex! Oh, I love Koh Chang! You should definitely visit Thailand if you haven't done so yet!

Cheerio! J

www.e-referrer.com