Setting up
a date and time for a date isn’t as easy as one would imagine. I know it should
be a pretty simple task. Set a date. Set a time. And be there. But hey, that’s
almost impossible here. And when you land on blind dates - it’s even worse. Why
is it so hard to be at a certain place on a certain time per pre-arranged
schedule?
I described
the Grindr –app I newly discovered few posts back. On that post I referred some
men - to the saner ones - that aren’t all but nut cases. The one’s you could
actually have a dialogue with including full sentences and at least some
content other than the easiest but still quite uncommon greetings “Hi” and
“Fuck now?”
I have
never claimed to be a sleuth or incredibly good at analyzing online profiles.
However, I have always thought to have at least some sense and understanding on
the makings of fake profiles. You know, murky pics or none at all, absolutely
no content in the profile (read also: lazy as fucks = not worth it) or copy and
pasted nonsense about absolute love and happiness – you know, Dalai Lama
scripts. If profile holds at least one clear face pic without shades and looks
reasonably sane it’s a good start.
So, there I
was chatting to a one “saner one”. Half Swiss half Namibian white male living
in London aged 29. Now that doesn’t sound bad at the outset. Hey, he even
speaks English! It does make it easier to have a conversation don’t you think?
Well I
suggested a nice place in the old town part of the area I love in London. We
set a date on the restaurant terrace. I have to say I didn’t expect much –
after all it was a blind date. I was observing guys passing by. Some of them
really handsome and hunky. Damn, I knew I wasn’t expecting any of them! Nah,
weren’t my dates, no.
Then I saw
him, walking towards my table. I was the only one sitting alone so that wasn’t
hard – and yes, my profile pics actually resemble me quite well. And yes, they
are less than 2months old. His however was not I quickly figured out. When he
opened his mouth I already knew this wasn’t going to take long. I mean honestly, he could have at least
washed his teeth before coming on a date. I am not overly judgmental. At least
that’s what I think of myself. My good friends might disagree but that’s their
prerogative. I judge only what I can see, hear, taste or sense. And now I used
all my senses to find something positive about this guy. His trashy looks
wasn’t among the great finds, his accent was directly from East-Enders and he
started conversation by mumbling about his day on a fashion shoot. I inquired
what was he doing on that fashion shoot. He explained to me they were
shooting him – pictures for his new portfolio. As it turned out he had paid 800
pounds for a portfolio of pics to become a model. I didn’t want to chatter his
unrealistic dreams but being 175, average looking, not exactly in a great shape
and having teeth like briskly dog having no bones to chew in its sad life – and
the face, well nothing special about the face, honestly.
He went on
and on about his parents in Switzerland, about their beautiful home there and –
well, you’ve get the pic – talking big. I found the guy more uninteresting
every minute. How the fuck to get out of the situation…
Finally the
bottle of wine we ordered run out. Yaiaiaia!
- “Should we ask for the bill?”
- “Yea mate, yea, that’s cool”
I visited
the bathroom to wash my hands. I took my bag with me. Didn’t trust this guy a
bit. When I came back the bill was waiting on our table.
- “Should we halve it?” I asked
- “Oh you know, I forgot my card home. I don’t think I have much money with me,” the prick started.
- “Sorry, you came on a date in to a restaurant without any money?”
- “Yes, I totally forgot it. But I will invite you to a dinner next I promise”
- “Babes, there won’t be another one”, I snorted. “I will pay mine and you can sort out your bill with the restaurant. I am not going to pay your bill.”
I left 2/3
of the bill amount to the table and walked out. Now, don’t take me wrong, if
that guy would have been honest he would have just said sorry and apologized,
but he didn’t. Instead, he suggested a second date, which we both knew was
never going to take place. These are the types of pricks that make you either
laugh or be very sorry for the ill-spent wasted time.
The thing
is people like this guy obviously has gotten away with this kind of behavior
before. Maybe this teaches him a lesson. The sad thing is I didn’t get laid –
whattafuck! J
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